I have been much challenged:
For not referring all to God, as the last end: that I do not drink, sleep, journey and think for God.
That I have not benefitted by good company and that I left not some word of conviction even upon natural and wicked men, as by reproving swearing in them; or because of being a silent witness to their loose carriage; and because I tended not in all companies to do good.
That the woes and calamities of the kirk, and particular professors have not moved me.
That in reading the life of David, Paul and the like, when it humbled me, I coming so far short of their holiness, laboured not to intimate them, afar off at least. according to the measure of God's grace.
That unrepented sins of youth were not looked to and lamented for.
That sudden stirrings of pride, lust, revenge, love of honours, were not resisted and mourned for.
That my charity was cold.
That the experience I had of God's hearing me, in this and the other particular being gathered, yet in a new trouble I had always (once at least) my faith to seek as if I were to beging at A, B, C, again.
That I have not more boldly contradicted the enemies speaking against the truth, either in public church-meetings or at tables or ordinary conference.
That in great troubles I have recieved false reports of Christ's love, and misbelieved Him in His chastening whereas the event hath said that all was in mercy.
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